“Being a parent is dirty and scary and beautiful and hard and miraculous and exhausting and thankless and joyful and frustrating all at once. It’s everything. (Confessions of a Scary Mommy, Gallery Books 2012).”
― Jill Smokler, Confessions of a Scary Mommy: An Honest and Irreverent Look at Motherhood: The Good, The Bad, and the Scary
And being a single mum, especially in the space I live in, is ” dirtier and scarier and every day is miraculous”.. Exhaustion and joyfulness is perhaps two sides of the same coin ;one which I keep flipping almost a dozen times each day.. It is my everything..
So with a whole lot of days being assigned and celebrated as mothers and fathers and grandparents separately, I’m left wondering why we cant just simplify things and have a common”Parents Day”.. You have a kid or you take care of one, YOU ARE A PARENT– real, surrogate , otherwise, it doesn’t really matter, does it? Sometimes the tough dad has to get all mushy and sometimes the gentle mom has to wear daddy’s boots and holler…
Especially if you’re a single parent, like I am , I find myself changing myself to become mom or dad depending on the situation.. My kid comes back from school and complains of being bullied, so while I’d love to get a “dad’s” point of view , I realize I just need to figure out a sensible parents point of view.. What would someone who truly loves the child and wants her to be strong and resilient do? While being the emotional mom that I am, I’d love to just hug her and allay her fears,(which I do, for a while), I. at the end of the hugging session need to provide her with the tough tools.. While I go discuss with the school teacher, my daughter also knows like she is standing up for herself.. I cant figure out if things would have been different if there were both the parents..and then i realize it doesn’t really matter, you do the best you can when you’re in the deep end and believe you’ll reach the shore..
I have had both parents around me, with me, in my head all these years, and I love them but I can’t really wish them on separate days, they are a team and they mirror eachother most of the times.. So I guess I’m just going to make my own special “Parents Day” and give them and myself , lots of love..
I just need to figure a day now.. any ideas???