Being Single is a lifestyle choice, thats what I usually tell my well meaning “attached” friends when they ask me to ” find someone”.. My next question usually is Pray, tell me how does one find someone?
I am a single parent, I work in a full-time job , in a fairly new city, no friends who are my age, and I usually have Home Work to deal with at the end of y day.. don’t get me wrong. I am not complaining, being single was definitely “MY choice”, its always better to be alone than being alone in a really bad marriage.. Been there done that..Most days I’m good, the routine of the day keeps me grounded and then I happen to talk or meet a well meaning friend who invariably asks me what I am doing to fix my single status?.. I realize that people often confuse “being alone” with “being lonely”, the latter a state of being that can happen to people who could even be part of a couple, married or otherwise..Ask me and I shall promptly relate stories of how I used to be someone just like that, I was with someone, living under the same roof, watching the same TV show ,on the same couch , sometimes even surrounded by our couple friends around and still experience the extreme depths of loneliness…However, to the outside world I was not alone, to me, “We “were extremely fine actors, who pretended to be happy because that’s what being in a marriage is supposed to make you feel..
I’m not a born- again feminist,( I don’t think I ever was one ),I am not jaded , I still believe in Love and Romance and Mushy feelings..I still believe in Serendipity esp. the movie kind of love.. and Shania Twain crooning “you’re still the one”, will still make me a little mushy…I’m only a little more aware of what differentiates all of the above with a sense of neediness..I don’t feel like I am incomplete and I am not looking for a man to Complete me, Complement me, yes sure, but validation is not my thing anymore.. I am happy to be alone, What I no longer want to be is lonely and miserable..
So , I did take my well meaning friends advice and promptly registered myself on a matrimonial site..sic..but what does one do to connect with people in a busy city, where you’re either at work or home working? Also, if If you are a single mom, who is super cautious and who is juggling full-time work and full-time motherhood,how do you find a man who is not just looking for a “simple, beautiful, slim and homely girl”?… Any ideas ?? I’m all ears, after all ,I too want to, not be ALONE 🙂