If I were totally free, I will:
breathe, deeply, consciously and feel the breath revive me from the many many years of being glued to an empty life.
Run and not crawl towards my dreams, , by myself, leaving those from my dreamless past , behind,and not ever feeling guilty about doing that
I will laugh and smile not just with my mouth but with my eyes, for then my soul would be allowed to speak through my eyes.
I will find and use My own Voice, and not speak the language of those around me, the TV, my friends ,my society & my religion.
I will not listen to my ex-lover who thought that I was overweight, undesirable and not so pretty, I would look at myself from my eyes only , which have always told me that I am beautiful inside out
Travel the world, meet strangers, make friends with some & some would be just acquaintances,
I surround myself with relationships that serve me and not let it be the other way round
I learn to be forgiving, to myself first and then to those around me, my parents esp. since they were perhaps as bonded to their past as I have been, they didn’t know freedom and power and they could never teach me how to be powerful too. I would make peace with them.
I love myself totally and completely, with all my flaws , even the darkest shadows of my soul, for those moments took me to places, that eventually freed me from my darker self.
I will flow with my life’s energetic flow, surrendering completely, without feeling like a failure, and drink from the powerful stream of the cosmos, feel the warmth of the sun and sleep unbashedly under the stars
I will plan a lot more and then act upon them, because I won’t fear the outcome, for the outcome does not depend on my boss’s appraisal of me. I am free to express my power to be ME, every day in every moment
I will flirt a little bit more and not pretend to act dumb, in-order for men to find me likeable, I will express my sexuality my way and be comfortable expressing it
I live in the moment, spend time with my daughter and enjoy it, free from thoughts of her future& my future. I will be the mother that I want to be, not the one I have become
And all this makes me wonder if I can be free, maybe I can, starting with my body & my spirit , I can start experiencing and expressing freedom and then maybe, someday soon, I will find ways to grow my wings and fly to all those distant lands, that a free bird can fly to.