‪#‎The100dayproject ‬#Day 5# 30 thoughts on being 30

30

  1. First off, being in our 30’s is perhaps the actual coming off – age for most people including me, You get to be so much better at being friends with yourself
  2. It’s all right to be alone, but it’s NOT OK  to get lonely
  3. Girlfriends are not be forgotten esp., when there is a new boyfriend /manfriend in the picture
  4. Well, friends are the extended family that you’re blessed with, and it is so  important to be one too!
  5. It definitely takes a village to raise a child; asking for help is good for you and the child
  6. Being aggressive is a sign of weakness but being assertive is so cool and liberating
  7. Saying NO, when you feel like it, brings so much peace
  8. Exercise is so much better than therapy, you get a better hormonal rush and you finally fit- into your old jeans in the process
  9. Somethings are an effect of our genes, you can’t fight them, like hair fall or the glasses, make peace with them, the other stuff like diabetes and hypertension ,can definitely  be gotten over
  10. You don’t have to be a hypochondriac, or clingy and a needy person to get attention, by this age the last thing you want is too much attention
  11. Respect other people by giving them their space, don’t compromise on your’ s either, this space allows for growth at many levels
  12. Write down your feelings , it’s better to get it out on paper, than on someone, there isn’t a delete button which works on memories
  13. You realize that “parents do understand”
  14. Life gets as good as you want it to get, your reactions to things pretty much makes it a good one or a bad day/month/year/life
  15. On some days you will not want to get out of bed, and that’s the day that you do everything possible to get up and do something
  16. On the days that you feel like you’re e on a rollercoaster , stop and breathe, and then get back on the ride
  17. That I have only so much of mind space, so it’s important to think about the right things, people and keep only those memories which makes me feel warmer
  18. That things that for my highest good and which will make me happy will happen to me with the least effort from my end,
  19. Pushing for things to happen or people to respond does not help, you end up pushing it all away in direct proportion to the level of force applied
  20. Karma is truly a byproduct of what one does or thinks or feels, so at some point you’re going to have to face the music, and no one will have to tell you, you will know exactly what tune you’re dancing to
  21. However, sometimes, bad things happen to some good people and it’s better to not overanalyze the why’s but to focus on the “how to feel better” part
  22. Constantly talking about your problems does not make them go away, if anything, the more you focus on what’s not right, the more it tends to be not right
  23. Our kids are wiser than they look, they are tiny people, there is so much you can learn from them if only you pay attention
  24. A hug from a child, a kind word , chai and conversation with a friend, a glass of wine while listening to “Swan Lake”, curling up with a book on a rainy day(or anyday), playing scrabble, running, reading a story with your kid and other such mundane things bring so much joy and peace than an evening spent drinking in a pub
  25. There is no need for validation from others anymore, on most days , at least, you learn to be your own cheerleader
  26. You can look at those in their 20’s and get to think ”oh wait till you get to our side of the grass”, it’s definitely much more greener
  27. You get called re-christened as aunty and you’re no longer “didi” and that can be somewhat of a jolt, but then people assume you’re wiser, so it’s not such a bad deal
  28. Being employable  is important, being self-reliant is even more so
  29. Sweets and chocolates , basically any carbs will get you through anything, but getting them out of your system gets little more difficult when you’re in your 30’s
  30. My final learning: this list will change completely by the time I hit my 40’s and I will be totally ok with that too
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Being in the Light

As I light the Diwali  diya’s this year, I think of a time , eight years ago, when there were lights around me, but all I could feel was the stifling darkness of my heart. I had just lost a child, a marriage, a job, and my sense of being in the world.. I remember walking around the colony where I lived, wondering how people could be so happy when I was not.. the lights were just not brightening my mood or my being. And yet, I didn’t think that God or the Universe was singling me out , because god didn’t really do that..Or maybe I am a hopeless optimist, who has been blessed with faith, even in the middle of  a Tsunami of pain.

I think that Diwali was my bend in the road, because it made me realize that there is only just one path for me, the path of Light, everything else was only darkness and that whatever the situation right now, I was going to have to find a way that took me towards light.. And then the “light bulb” moment of truth that whatever had happened to me , Had already happened, It was Over. It wasn’t done to me, things had just happened. There was also no past to define me by and yet I could create my present that would define my future. A light-filled one at that. So eight years later, here I am, on a Diwali day once more, and this time I truly feel like a “Light-being”, someone who is intent on lighting up my moments, because I know now that my future is being lighted-up in these very moments. After all, there is just one way for me, going to wherever the light is, everything else is only darkness.

Love N Light..Always

The One

When I was a little girl, I got introduced to the “One”

He was the prince in Cinderella , in Snowhite and also in Rapunzel, The knight in a shining armour on an even shinier horse

An image so indented in the minds of little girls like you and me

The message was clear, we women needed to be rescued more often than not

Not to worry, there was always going to be a knight in shining armor to rescue us from ourselves at the right moment

And then we grew up!! And Life Happened

We realized we made mistakes, some knowingly, some unknowingly, mostly because we were gullible, or tired and because we thought we were in true love

So we go into that space of mourning, much like the tower in which Rapunzel was in or tried sleeping off the depression a- la Snow-white

All the while waiting for the prince to walk in and waltz us out of the pain, kiss us and bring us back to a happy place

That never happened, it can never happen, the prince perhaps got overwhelmed by all our expectations of him and simply rode off on his white horse

To save somebody from their own self isn’t such an easy task, and the prince is only just a man

With his own issues, and stress and friends and life, He has no time to fix you up,

So maybe it isn’t a bad idea to fix yourself up, even if it’s always going to be at a work in progress stage

It takes courage, and faith, lots of humour and a great group of friends and a very happy and stable significant other (not a requisite) to make us a better version of Us

Atleast at the end of it you know who the real “One” is and that this  one is always with you, in you and that  you never ever have to stay alone at the lighthouse , waiting to be rescued by someone who does not even exists.