- First off, being in our 30’s is perhaps the actual coming off – age for most people including me, You get to be so much better at being friends with yourself
- It’s all right to be alone, but it’s NOT OK to get lonely
- Girlfriends are not be forgotten esp., when there is a new boyfriend /manfriend in the picture
- Well, friends are the extended family that you’re blessed with, and it is so important to be one too!
- It definitely takes a village to raise a child; asking for help is good for you and the child
- Being aggressive is a sign of weakness but being assertive is so cool and liberating
- Saying NO, when you feel like it, brings so much peace
- Exercise is so much better than therapy, you get a better hormonal rush and you finally fit- into your old jeans in the process
- Somethings are an effect of our genes, you can’t fight them, like hair fall or the glasses, make peace with them, the other stuff like diabetes and hypertension ,can definitely be gotten over
- You don’t have to be a hypochondriac, or clingy and a needy person to get attention, by this age the last thing you want is too much attention
- Respect other people by giving them their space, don’t compromise on your’ s either, this space allows for growth at many levels
- Write down your feelings , it’s better to get it out on paper, than on someone, there isn’t a delete button which works on memories
- You realize that “parents do understand”
- Life gets as good as you want it to get, your reactions to things pretty much makes it a good one or a bad day/month/year/life
- On some days you will not want to get out of bed, and that’s the day that you do everything possible to get up and do something
- On the days that you feel like you’re e on a rollercoaster , stop and breathe, and then get back on the ride
- That I have only so much of mind space, so it’s important to think about the right things, people and keep only those memories which makes me feel warmer
- That things that for my highest good and which will make me happy will happen to me with the least effort from my end,
- Pushing for things to happen or people to respond does not help, you end up pushing it all away in direct proportion to the level of force applied
- Karma is truly a byproduct of what one does or thinks or feels, so at some point you’re going to have to face the music, and no one will have to tell you, you will know exactly what tune you’re dancing to
- However, sometimes, bad things happen to some good people and it’s better to not overanalyze the why’s but to focus on the “how to feel better” part
- Constantly talking about your problems does not make them go away, if anything, the more you focus on what’s not right, the more it tends to be not right
- Our kids are wiser than they look, they are tiny people, there is so much you can learn from them if only you pay attention
- A hug from a child, a kind word , chai and conversation with a friend, a glass of wine while listening to “Swan Lake”, curling up with a book on a rainy day(or anyday), playing scrabble, running, reading a story with your kid and other such mundane things bring so much joy and peace than an evening spent drinking in a pub
- There is no need for validation from others anymore, on most days , at least, you learn to be your own cheerleader
- You can look at those in their 20’s and get to think ”oh wait till you get to our side of the grass”, it’s definitely much more greener
- You get called re-christened as aunty and you’re no longer “didi” and that can be somewhat of a jolt, but then people assume you’re wiser, so it’s not such a bad deal
- Being employable is important, being self-reliant is even more so
- Sweets and chocolates , basically any carbs will get you through anything, but getting them out of your system gets little more difficult when you’re in your 30’s
- My final learning: this list will change completely by the time I hit my 40’s and I will be totally ok with that too
If I were totally free, I will:
breathe, deeply, consciously and feel the breath revive me from the many many years of being glued to an empty life.
Run and not crawl towards my dreams, , by myself, leaving those from my dreamless past , behind,and not ever feeling guilty about doing that
I will laugh and smile not just with my mouth but with my eyes, for then my soul would be allowed to speak through my eyes.
I will find and use My own Voice, and not speak the language of those around me, the TV, my friends ,my society & my religion.
I will not listen to my ex-lover who thought that I was overweight, undesirable and not so pretty, I would look at myself from my eyes only , which have always told me that I am beautiful inside out
Travel the world, meet strangers, make friends with some & some would be just acquaintances,
I surround myself with relationships that serve me and not let it be the other way round
I learn to be forgiving, to myself first and then to those around me, my parents esp. since they were perhaps as bonded to their past as I have been, they didn’t know freedom and power and they could never teach me how to be powerful too. I would make peace with them.
I love myself totally and completely, with all my flaws , even the darkest shadows of my soul, for those moments took me to places, that eventually freed me from my darker self.
I will flow with my life’s energetic flow, surrendering completely, without feeling like a failure, and drink from the powerful stream of the cosmos, feel the warmth of the sun and sleep unbashedly under the stars
I will plan a lot more and then act upon them, because I won’t fear the outcome, for the outcome does not depend on my boss’s appraisal of me. I am free to express my power to be ME, every day in every moment
I will flirt a little bit more and not pretend to act dumb, in-order for men to find me likeable, I will express my sexuality my way and be comfortable expressing it
I live in the moment, spend time with my daughter and enjoy it, free from thoughts of her future& my future. I will be the mother that I want to be, not the one I have become
And all this makes me wonder if I can be free, maybe I can, starting with my body & my spirit , I can start experiencing and expressing freedom and then maybe, someday soon, I will find ways to grow my wings and fly to all those distant lands, that a free bird can fly to.